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Husband caught looking at inappropriate websites by abusive wife

Your Question:
My wife has a rage problem. She has been abusing me for a decade. I did nothing to stop it. Now, she has found that I have visited a few innappropriate web sites. She says she can have me taken out of the home. I had a password, but I must not of signed off??? Please advise quickly...

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My Answer:

Thanks for writing, and sorry for your unhappy marriage that's apparently leading into divorce.

You don't provide any details about your kids, but your nickname submitted contains "Dad", so I assume you've got minor children.

Also, you don't say whether you're in a no-fault or fault state for divorce, and I don't know anything about the threshhold for "at fault" divorce, so you'd need to consult with an attorney on that.

All of that said, I think your question about whether you can be removed from your home based upon visiting inappropriate websites all depends upon the exact nature of the website.

If you simply like big boobs and you were visiting big boobed websites, no one will care except your wife. It won't play much of a role with a judge or evaluator... UNLESS you neglected other responsibilities while spending hours gazing at montrous mammaries.

If you're into child porn, then you should immediately seek treatment for yourself. If you were going to child porn websites, and if your wife has evidence, you can probably kiss everything goodbye. Treatment and long-term therapy will be your only possible recourse, I imagine, to have any quality time with your kids in the future.

If your "inappropriate" websites promoted Stalinism in a post cold war era, then don't worry about it. It's a free country, and as warped as your politics may be, it's not going to count much in divorce and child custody.

I think the bigger question, aside from you getting your happiness looking at websites, is how to resolve your situation. Your wife has rage problems, and you won't stand up to her. If she won't enter couples counseling with you, you may wish to pursue it on your own to learn about your own psyche-- why you're with the type of woman you have, and why you don't have the cojones to do anything about it. You may not be able to salvage your marriage, but you can certainly improve yourself.

Additionally, sounds like you may want to consult with an attorney at this point. Don't tell your wife. But you need to know your legal rights and how to respond to some extreme actions your wife is threatening.

Good luck.


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