Advice from someone who has been in your shoes
  Search entire web
Supervised Visitation Directory
Return to list of questions Return to topic groups
Never married mother lost custody when father convinced a judge that mother disappeared; now what?

Your Question:
My ex and I were never married and up until Jan. 06 shared custody of our son with a verbal agreement. (My son resided with me for the most part and visited his father on weekend until he moved back to AR then it was month to month). When it was my turn to have my son home his father refused to return him and went behind my back in May 06 and filed for temporary custody on the grounds that he didn't know where I was at and that I had no contact with my son in 4 months which was a lie. I've always had a forwarding address, his father never asked for my address, and I have phone bills to prove that I spoke to my son on a very regular basis. I didn't know about the temporary custody order until Nov. 06 when I was served by his lawyer on a visit and given 20 days to respond and notified, through a friend, that my sons father had recently been arrested for DUI, 2 counts of child endangerment, and fleeing. I have contacted a lawyer but he wants a minimum of $2000 to help and I am in no position to come up with that kind of money with 10 days left. I don't see with his fathers history how the judge could even grant a temporary custody order without notifying me and I need help on what to do next. I am desperate and fear for my sons safety!!!!!!!!

Custody and visitation problems? We can help. can help you win custody, change custody, or reduce child support. Recommended by mediators and therapists and used every day by thousands of parents and families worldwide.

My Answer:

If everything you write is true, you're certainly in an unfair and tragic situation.

I'd say the same thing to a person who has a brain tumor. It's not fair, and it's tragic.

I'd advise the person with a brain tumor that regardless of the cost, it's critical for that person's health that they find a way to hire a qualified, experienced brain surgeon.

I'm advising you - who admittedly knows nothing about how family law works (and who is up against a father with an attorney who knows how to exploit and lie) - that you need to find a way to come up with the money to hire an expert in this field.

You suggest that your child's welfare is at risk.

Be it a brain tumor, or a harmful custodial arrangement, we need to know when it's time to hire a professional. There are many ways, including personal loans, second jobs, and credit cards; to come up with the money.

Good luck.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

© 2005 ~ 2022 All Rights Reserved.