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Never married noncustodial father of two young kids wants to know how to improve his situation

Your Question:
i have 2 kids with a coworker i messed around with. the first child was a surprise but i was there for her. when i found out she was pregnant i had to tell my current girlfriend but since she didnt know me at that time, it was okay with her. but when the mother found out i was dating she became difficult to deal with. so we broke up just so that i can see my son,and during that period, i know it was foolish but she became pregnant again. i know we are not compatible because i tried to make the relatinship work when i found out about the 2nd child and moved in with her. all we did was fight. it didnt work and i moved into my own home and started getting visitation with both children. she made it very difficult when i tried to speak up in court and the judge always sided with her. i have a very stable job and life and love my children, we have a very good parent/child relationship. i cannot make a home or life with my girlfreind because i am constantly dealing with this difficult woman who uses the children against me. As far as child support i pay exactly what im suppose to and always have. it states in the orders i cant live outside or take the children outside of the county that i live in. and would to buy a home in the next county.the children are 2 and 4 yrs old and shes always yelling at them and they yell back, i dont want this for my children, i want to give them a more stable family life with me. she works 2nd shift and has another child 10 yrs from another man. all she cares about is that i am not seeing other woman, i would like joint or full custody to make a better home for them. how can i accomplish this without WW3?

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My Answer:

You can't resolve your situation without starting WW3, since the mother has already declared (through her actions) that she's at war with you.

You need to accept that you have to prepare for WW3 with a good strategy (i.e., a plan that will work in court) and effective ammunition (i.e., convincing evidence).

When you have your plan and evidence, you return to court for a modification.

Spend much time on my website, and look at my book reviews. Buy one or two that seems most helpful to your situation.

You already learned that you don't currently have the knowledge to be successful in court. It's up to you to gain that knowledge if you want a different outcome.

Good luck.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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