Advice from someone who has been in your shoes
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Previous poster received primary custody of the kids; he offers his advice to other parents

Your Question:
Thank you very much for your website. I recommend it to anyone who is going through a custody dispute.

As a father of new young boys ages 6 and 8, I had posted previously of my ongoing custody struggle with my STBX.

The court order came down and I was able to obtain a joint physical/legal agreement with me as the primary resident. Dads, it can be done. You can get a favorable court order. Fight for your kids. Always do the next right thing. Do not be provoked to anger. Do not drink or do drugs.

Stay in your child's life, attend school events, sports events, take your child to the doctor, dentist, counselors, etc. Learn to be the best parent possible. Take a parenting class or cooking class.

The strategies I used were to gain as much information as I could from the Internet for Dads going through a divorce/custody battle.

I bought the book and software CustodyIQ recommended. I had a really good female attorney who knew the court system, the GAL and how to handle a custody case aggressively.

I met with the GAL and did all the things that I had read about. I stated facts and did not make accusations that I could not substantiate.

I was lucking too. Learning as much as I could from various sources, I soon realized that my wife was her own worst enemy in the decisions she made. Moving in with another man 25 miles from the martial home, leaving the kids, including her daughter from a previous marriage in the home with me. Losing her job because of bar-running, not seeking work outside the home.

All these were factors in the GAL siding on my behalf to be the primary resident in a joint custody-parenting plan. A plan, which allows the boys to remain with me 75% of the time!

Finally, but perhaps most importantly, I stayed focused on God. There were bad days and really bad days, but I always kept the faith.

Thanks again for your website. You did me a solid.

Custody and visitation problems? We can help. can help you win custody, change custody, or reduce child support. Recommended by mediators and therapists and used every day by thousands of parents and families worldwide.

My Answer:

Cool beans, congratulations! This is exactly why I put in the work to host this website.

Knowledge, persistence, and keeping one's eye on the ball (i.e., being the best parent possible) is the only recipe that eventually pays off.

I'm posting this so other parents (mothers and fathers alike) can be assured that a good outcome IS possible. It just takes some work and determination.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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