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Soon-to-be father thinks the mother will be unfit, and he wants custody

Your Question:
I have a child on the way, however I already feel that the mother will be a unfit parent and want be able to provide quality mental or financial stability for the child to take of the my child. She and I are dating however I feel that the relationship is about to end. I would already like to start pursuing physical and legal custody over the baby. But how long should I wait until the child is born to pursue these proceedings ? and what would you suggest that I do overall ?

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My Answer:

It's in your best interest to maintain good relations as much as possible with the mother during the pregnancy. Your position is going to be easier to argue if you're actually with the mother at the time of birth, rather than already estranged and fighting to get information about anything to do with the baby.

You need to document what makes the mother unfit. Because you provide no details and only general jargon, I sense that you really don't know much about how child custody works and what evidence you need to prove your case.

The good news is that you have time to learn. Go to my Book Reviews section and get one or two of those books. You can order them at Amazon, at a local store, or maybe from your library.

You need to educate yourself BEFORE the child is born. You also need to put together (at least in your head) what parenting plan you think would serve the child.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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