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Custodial mother got live-in lesbian girlfriend after separating from father; she needs help dealing with father


Your Question:
I am the mother of a 9 year old boy. Me and my husband seperated in May. I have a girlfriend who I share an apartment with. In the separation agreement that my husband had drawn up my son lives with me during school time and goes to his dad'a house every weekend. Now because my ex doesn't like my relationship he is seeking custody of our son. And even if I get my son on weekends he doesn't want my girlfriend there. But we have been living together like a family when my son is there since May so my question is: How can they make my girlfriend leave our house when she has every right to be there. It's like asking me to choose and if I don't then I could lose my son and my girlfriend. And I don't want to lose either.

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My Answer:
Hi,

I'm going to assume that "girlfriend" means you're in a lesbian relationship.

So long as you're not doing anything in front of your son that a heterosexual couple wouldn't do, you should be fine in court. Judges can't often rule on moral decisions. But I can.

I find it extremely insensitive to the needs of your son that you immediately started shacking up with a new lover after you and his father separated. It seems to me that you're completely clueless about what you're son is enduring after seeing his home shattered by his parents.

I suggest that you switch the parenting plan with the father, that you have the boy on weekends, and you can have your precious time with your honey during the weekdays. And, I agree with the father, it'd be in your child's best interest that you NOT force him to think that he must suddenly be a part of a new family and your new relationship.

Grow up, focus on your kid, and put everything else as second.

And, my answer would have been the same whether you were shacking up with a male or female sextoy that you're pretending is abruptly the center of your life.

Eric





This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.


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