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Father concerned that mother is unfit - he isn't sure how to get custody

Your Question:
PLEASE HELP!!! My son's mother is VERY unfit!!!!!

My son's mother has garbage all throughout her house (usually), has a 160 lb. rotweiler (sp.?), a pit bull/akita shepherd mix, and another large mix. The dogs belong to her mother that she lives with. The dogs are there for protection because the grand mother sells crack, borrows money all the time, and put her ex that is a convicted rapist and murderer back into prison people he knows want her whole family dead.

When my son gets sick his mother will not take hium to an ER or a doctor. She won't because she had traumatic experiences when she was young (ie; seeing her father in hospitals and nursing homes all the time).

She ended up with getting engaged to a guy that she met over the phonme that lived across the country and they swing and do drugs and drink in front of my son.

When my son's mother had an apartment and was also living with her mother, many people called DCFS because there was garbage literally covering most of the floor and there were broken beer bottles, cat droppings, cat urine, used kitty litter, used condoms, and marijuana roaches all over the place.

Many people called DCFS and of course I did call them also when I saw what the conditions were like there. My son's mother kept taking my son over there and had him playing around in all thatv filth! But when I called to follow up with DCFS it turned out that she was not found guilty of anything at all and they acted like I made everything up when the investigator that I had spoken with told me herself that she had been in the apartment before she even caught up with my son's mother and she saw how deplorable the conditions were.

I am suing for sole custody and I started the case last Summer. My child is two as of last December. I waited to file a case because every time I mentioned even seeing my son, his mother would take off for up to 9 months at a time and told me that I would not ever see him. Finally I knew that I had to file.

I do have a very good attorney and we have gone for emergency custody before because of my son's mother leaving the state but the judge just ordered both of us to stay in the state.

When I told my lawyer that I wanted to have a private investigator check things out she said that it was not time to do that yet unless it's something serious that I can prove.

Can some one elaborate on that?

I also had an idea. You may get the wrong impression but my focus is on what is best for my son, not trashing his mother.

She goes out and gets drunk and high and she drives that way. I thought that if I had a P.I. catch her on film doing what she does and then getting behind the wheel, he could call 911 and box her in right after she started up her car so that she could not get away and there would be no dangerous chase. If she was charged with a DUI and drug posession it would prove some of my allegations and I could be awarded temporary custody and then full custody.

But my lawyer said that if I did that, my son could end up in DCFS custody or my son's mother would have her fiance pick my son up and then move across the country with him.

My lawyer did say that if it happened right before a court date it would be different but I don't get a lot of this.

Any suggestions?

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My Answer:

I'm not sure why you think you have a good attorney. If everything you outline is true, an effective attorney should be able to build evidence via depositions and perhaps a private investigator and then go for an emergency hearing based upon hard evidence.

The kind of mother you're describing should not be difficult to demonstrate unfit.

That said, if you're not much better, then the child may end up in foster care. I have no idea what your skeletons are, what your home is like, if you do drugs, if you're fit to be a parent, etc.

If you're fit to be a parent and don't have major issues that would threaten a child's welfare, this should be a slam dunk case.

It feels like I'm missing quite a bit of information here. Sorry I can't be of more help.


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