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Father initially received temporary custody and restraining order against mother; then mother got custody and a restraining order against father

Your Question:
i filed a restraining order against my wife. she had slapped me, hit me,(this was not the first time)and walked down the middle of a curvy road carring the baby. Now the reason she took off walking was because i had taken her van keys. I done this because she does not have a right to rip the baby from the home everytime she does not get her way. I then took her the van. The restraining order was issued and i was granted temporary custody until the hearing. Before the hearing came i ws served with divorce papers. I had contacted mutual people to let her know the van payment was due. So the day before the hearing i took the van (it was pruchaced in my name only because her credit is so terrible). My attorney told me i needed only the witness i had on the day of our last encounter. Yet my wife's attorney brought up stuff from a year ago. She lied, which can be easily proved and was awarded custody. My new lawyer says that the lying is no big deal and he seems very passive, smart but passive. He also states we can not ask for joint and that both parents have to agree. He also says my chances are slim. I recommended a psyc test which he agreed. Yet friends that know her say they believe she is manipulative enough to beat it, and if anyone is it would be my wife. This is her second divorce in 16 months and there are 3 step children involved which i truly adore. Now i only see my daughter every other weekend and my wife has even denied me any chance of going to see my daughter at daycare. She has even stated that the only way i would miss her or the only way she can get me is to take the baby from me. This daddy needs help, advice, and any prayers that may be offered.

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My Answer:

Thanks for writing.

Though I can certainly toss a prayer your way, I really don't have much specific advice for you. Check into the book Win Your Child Custody War by Hardwick. There's a link to it (and further description) on my Recommended Books page.

I agree that you should be pushing for psych evaluations. Don't worry about whether or not she can trick a clinical psychologist.

I don't know how the restraining order got turned around, but that doesn't bode well for you. I suggest you take a polygraph examination and deny that you did whatever she claims you did. That's assuming that you would be telling the truth, of course. You can show the polygraph results to your custody evaluator.

Spend every possible minute with your daughter that you're allowed.

Keep a journal of any exchanges or conversations you have with your ex.

Consult with a second family law attorney in your area just to get a second opinion. If that attorney says the same thing as your current attorney, then you're likely getting valid advice.

Good luck.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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