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Mother had affair with married man, had baby, filed for support, now worried about his wife

Your Question:
paternity was just established in my child support case against a married man that i had an affair with. my son is 9 months old, and his father and i ended our "relationship" before i even knew i was pregnant. he has known about the pregnancy as long as i have, but has never expressed one bit of interest in my son. his wife has threatened to try for joint custody if i am awarded support. we live in different states, and i was just notified that he has asked for a 3 month extension on the support issue in order to consult an attorney. since i am going through the county that i live in, they have no interest in anything custody-related, only support. since support is basically decided using a worksheet and percentages of our income, what could be the reasoning for him hiring an attorney? should i brace myself for a custody fight? he hasn't shown the least bit of interest in my son, and it scares me to death to think of my son alone with his wife.

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My Answer:

I asked you a number of other questions, and I got plenty more information, mostly centered around your fear of what his wife will do to your child.

The only thing relevant is that you have no knowledge or evidence that his wife is a bad mother or is a danger to your baby.

Frankly, I think you're among the most immature and narcissistic people who have written to me.

You had an affair with a married man, and you bore a child with him. He went back to his wife, you filed for child support, and now you're speculating that his wife is going to hurt your child to get back at you.

If you wanted to avoid a custody fight, you shouldn't have initiated a paternity action.

I suggest you find a way to give this child a mommy and daddy. That may require you to move to his location. A child without a father is at a tremendous disadvantage.

I also suggest you look inward and assess if your personal ethics are leading you to a better place in life. If not, consider adjusting them.

My website. My two cents.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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