I am the "non-offending parent" in a CPS custody battle.
Why it's a "custody battle" I have no idea. Initially, upon
my childrens removal, I fought back, tried
submitting "proof" (not allowed), tried going public (gag-
order and threats of jail), called five marsden hearings to
fire my attorney (not allowed since he was a buddy of the
judge and used to be a CPS worker!) ect. Oh, one more
point?....I called CPS for HELP.
That was 15 months ago. In the meantime the military
investigation found my ex "innocent" of molestation, even
though forensic interviews showed "trauma" to my six year
olds vagina. Even though both girls (then four and five)
admitted that their dad exposed them to pornography. Even
though the military agent said they had "something on the
hardrive worth prosecuting". Even though the nanny said
she'd caught him exposing them to pornography. Even though
I caught him in a chat with an online pedophile talking
about having sex with my daughter when she was "ready" and
sharing her at that time. I also sent the military a letter
from my ex which was sent months later, admitting to raping
me to get me pregnant with the daughter in question
(religious belief held me there), felony use of a
government credit card and numerous other things. I am not
allowed to discuss it since he is now "innocent". He was
HONORABLY DISCHARGED FROM THE MILITARY FOUR MONTHS AFTER
THEIR INVESTIGATION ENDED (dec, 04)
He has not been ordered for a psych eval, but I was. And
after searching for 9 months, they (CPS) finally found a
doctor on their "list" I was ordered to see (not allowed to
pick my own). Suddenly, I was found to be "Histrionic
Personality" with a subcategory of "Exhibitionist".
Meaning, I've made it all up for "attention". Funny thing
is, three tests were never administered but were listed as
given and the doctor herself admitted via phone the report
was "doctored" by the social worker.
Immediately, when I found that the "investigation" was over
with an "innocent" verdict, I went to the sherrif dept and
said I wanted to show THEM the proof. They refused saying
it was a "military matter". I went to the DA, they said
since there were no "charges" they could not get involved.
They sent me to Victim Witness, who said they couldn't help
but that I should go to the Attorney Generals Office. I
drove there and they asked if I had gone to the FBI yet. I
went to the FBI and the agent listened to my story, looked
at what I had and then told me there was little THEY could
do since it was a MILITARY MATTER, that they would be
interested in viewing my ex's hard-drive,that AGGRAVATED
RAPE HAD A STATUE OF LIMITATIONS OF SIX YEARS then referred
me BACK to the military investigative agents....square one
In the meantime my ex has played the "nice guy" routine,
never argued, never fought, never said a WORD...unless it
was to implicate me negatively somehow. 8 years of raising
my children while he went overseas or worked 12 hour days.
I never knew a thing since I was SLEEPING or GONE when
these things obviously took place. I've completed my case
plan TWICE and STILL have yet to gain custody. Recently,
after my six year old admitted (after a YEAR) that her
daddy had touched her (only brought on when I mentioned
during a visit that daddy was getting 'unsupervised visits'
and explained what that meant...then watched her face
freeze into a fake smile and her eyes go panicky)...I
mentioned it to the foster mother and asked her to PLEASE
talk to my daughter since no one would believe me now with
a diagnoses of "histrionic". Next thing I knew, the court
report said I was "brainwashing" my daughters into
BELIEVING they had been sexually molested. So much for
trying to do the RIGHT thing, I guess I learn the hard way.
My ex moved in with his new "girlfriend" four months after
our divorce, and August of last year. I was originally told
she had three boys. When I mentioned to the Social worker
that I felt she should be "warned", she told me I had to
mind my own business, stay out of it adding, "she only has
boys anyway right?". I just found out my girls were
manipulated into lying to me. She has two boys and one FOUR
year old girl.
They are playing me off like the vengeful ex wife bent on
false accusations and retaliation. It could not be further
from the truth, however focusing on what was done to my
daughter could illicit strong hatred if I dwell, so I DONT.
I have to "comply", i have to remain congenial to him for
the "best interest of the children", so I DO, and I have. I
also believe in forgiveness, though it hardly means I
should sit and shrug my shoulders when they PLACE MY GIRLS
in harms way! Nevertheless,I have never spoken ill about
him to the children EVER. I came close two weeks ago, when
my daughters went again to a visit and daddy bought them CD
players and lunch and a movie...while I'm trying to keep my
roof so I don't lose the chance of custody. I said, "Well,
that's because he's not paying mommy the alimony money he's
supposed to...." then stopped short and added, "but that's
okay because NOW he can spend it on YOU INSTEAD!!, RIGHT??"
(WINK WINK). They giggled and it passed, but I came close.
If you think this is an isolated case, you'd be wrong. I'm
one of thousands but here are a few of my questions for you:
A) Do you know of anyone reputable that can give a psych.
evaluation Pro Bono to clear my name? (liens on property,
child support arrears now, ruined credit ect.)
B) Do you know of anyone who does letter analyzing?
C) Do you know of any media contacts willing to look at my
story before they can be "shut-up" by the state? Someone
not afraid of cover-ups?
Sorry for the nightmare you've endured. I hope you have good family support through this.
Answers to your questions:
I don't know if a pro bono clinical psychologist who'd help you. I think you're on the right track, however, to get another expert to testify as to your mental health.
I'm not sure what aspect of "letter analyzing" you're seeking. You'd likely want to find a Forensic Graphologist.
If all that you're saying is true, I imagine that many TV news magazines such as 20/20, 60 Minutes, 48 Hours, or Frontline would be interested. You would approach their news editor (e.g., via fax or phone) with a boiled-down version of the facts not exceeding half a page. You should be willing to undergo perhaps a polygraph examination and additional psychological examination (i.e., at their cost) and even suggest this to them in your pitch. Again-- if what you're saying is true-- this would be a very juicy story for them.
Given your situation, getting media attention would seem to me to be the only avenue for potentially changing the course of what's going on. Don't waste time or effort on local media, however. Persist in trying to get a national show to pick up your story.
Finally, you may want to see if Dean Tong at www.abuse-excuse.com may have any additional guidance for you.
This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.