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Never married father has been primary parent for two years without orders; now mother wants child back

Your Question:
My girlfriend and i were together for 7 years and never married,when we met she had 4 children,3 from different men,she was also married but seperated when we met and never pursued a divorce. During the relationship we had a child and she encouraged me not to pursue court because she knew( he,my son) was mine and we were going to stay together and he had my last name.2 years ago we split,found out later she was having an affair of which she got pregnant again and tryed for a year to convince me [she,the newborn) was mine,she has since admitted she was'nt,at the time of the split she left my son with me and her 4 others with her mother(the grandmother)i have had him with me for 2 years,he is in pre-school and doing great,she rarely ever see's him and never calls to talk to him,in 2 years she has called to talk to him maybe 30 times and double that in seeing him,she lives with her boyfriend and his parents and has for this entire time ,she now has informed me that she is buying a house in the spring and so much as said she is coming to get my son.What do i do about this?Can i do somthing about this?This woman i have been told has done this many times in the past,she has also never offered to help me with any of his needs in the past to years.

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My Answer:

You need to file a paternity action and get temporary custody of your son.

Build your case by getting witnesses and evidence that makes it clear that you've been this kid's primary caretaker for 2 years.

If your case is presented competently, and if you have no serious issues as a parent that you haven't disclosed, nearly any judge will give you temporary custody based upon what you've outlined.

You just need to make sure your case is handled correctly. For that reason, I strongly recommend you hire a family law attorney. Your spelling and grammar are not one of your strengths, and a judge will base a huge part of his decision on written pleadings. So, get a lawyer and get court orders that you have sole custody and she has visitation.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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