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New father uncertain how to exit from allegedly abusive, alcoholic girlfriend (and save child)

Your Question:
my son has a five month old daughter with his girlfriend. she is abusive towards him and is an alcoholic. i took pictures of his injuries today, but when it happened the previous night he held her down asking that she calm down. when she did, he let her up, and she called the police on him saying he was beating her. he left because he is 6'5" tall and looks gruff althought he is very gentle. he is afraid if she cries when the police show up he will be arrested. this has happened to another family member. other than that i am concerned about her taking care of the baby due to her drunkeness each night. how does my son prove the baby is in a dangerous situation if left there if they split up. they are still together at the moment. they are both 26 and she has giving up custody of another child once before. thank you

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My Answer:

Yours is a perfect situation in which a private investigator would be very helpful.

It may cost one or two thousand dollars, but if the P.I. gathers good, solid dirt as to the mother's severe parenting deficiencies and/or questionable background; then your son walks into a courtroom with a huge advantage.

If they split up, your son has no rights until a court orders it, due to not being married. And that means the mother will have initial advantage.

The last thing you want is a "he said she said" situation, when first approaching the court.

Gather the evidence, build the case, and then file. Son should have a plan for taking care of the child, if he gets temporary custody.

I suggest you look into getting the book "Child Custody A to Z" for help on building your case. I describe it on my Recommended Books page.

I also suggest you and your son interviewing family law attorneys who have been practicing in your county for at least 10 years.

Son should try to keep peace at home, as much as possible, while he's preparing for all this.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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