Thanks for the nice words.
I think you're done for a while, at least with regards to this court. Order the court transcript from the court reporter, so your husband can look it over to see if there's anything to appeal, but probably not.
Your husband lost. He lost his motion to reconsider. The judge was not convinced, and the judge doesn't want to see this guy again for a while.
You're writing from what was told to you (i.e., you weren't in the courtroom), so it's not really fair to analyze what you wrote about the proceedings.
I will say that your parents and your sister are both worthless witnesses. They have a bias. The court would be wise to ignore them.
Face it. You're done on the custody thing for at least a year, unless some huge tragedy happens. Use the year to lick your wounds and learn how to put together a good case that will convince a court.
I think you would be well-advised to get the books Win Your Child Custody War
and Child Custody A to Z
, both listed on my Recommended Books
page. You have a year to study them, learn about solid evidence, learn about good witnesses, and most of all, learn about strategy.
You're complaining that honesty doesn't pay. On its own or coupled with ignorance of a system, that's probably a correct assessment. But if honesty is mixed with strategic tactics, it's a winning combination.
Regarding the child support, I don't know the technical answers to how your state handles the father's expenses for childcare of children not involved in the litigation. Only a lawyer in your state can answer that.
Regarding imputing the mother's income, keep in mind that your husband has probably already ticked off this judge. You're claiming that the mother can earn at least $200 more per month. If you got your way, what does that translate to in monthly child support? Maybe $20 less child support per month that the father must pay?!
Here's an entry
about what it took me to convince a California court to impute a support-receiving parent's income. It was a ton of work, and everything relevant factor has to be covered (which may be different in other states).
All that work doesn't seem worthwhile just to pump up the mother's earning capacity by $200/month.
I think it'd be more valuable for the father to go into this hearing as nonconfrontational as possible, so the judge doesn't get further ticked off, to make it easier for the father to go for a custody change in 1+ years when he's really built his case (per those books I suggested).
These blows happen. I'm sorry. It's not fair. It's tough when we're beaten by poor excuses for human beings, but that's life. At least we're not in concentration camps, we're not in the midst of Iraq insurgency, we're not homeless, and we aren't bedridden with chronic illness. Life is still pretty good.
Today is a new day, and the past is the past. Learn from what happened (i.e., the judge told you, "Your case sucked"), get smarter, know that you can put together a stronger case that is meaningful to a JUDGE (i.e., not to you), and then have another shot at it in one to two years.