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Previous poster with evidence of mother's alarming behavior reports she is cleaning her act in preparation for court

Your Question:
I had wrote to you about my 9 and 11 year old daughter the other day and had one more question.The ex has started being mother of the year since we filed on her.She is up at school all the time,going on field trips,eating lunch with them etc..She has also got a job now.Our lawyer now is sating well she is doing good and the girls are doing good in school etc.Do the last 6 years of her bullcrap not count at all since she is doing good now.And on top of that 2 years ago she was on court probation for a year for not giving us visits with the girls.I just dont understand how nothing we have on her would not count just because she decided to be mom this year!!

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My Answer:

If any other readers want to see your original post for more background, click here.

I disagree with your assumption that her past isn't going to have an impact on a court's ruling at some point in the near future, unless her past is ancient history (i.e., she has been acting responsibly for years).

I have no idea what your finances are, but I would strongly recommend that you ask your attorney about deposing her. This may cost you a couple thousand dollars, or more, depending on how long it goes. In the deposition, have your attorney ask her about all the things you outlined previously (and have the ability to show via proof or a private investigator's testimony).

In deposition, she'll either admit to what you have on her, or she'll deny it.

If she admits it, she's going to have to explain to the court why the judge shouldn't be very concerned about her. This would be her wisest move, but she probably won't do it. If she admits to it, she can say, "But I found faith, and I'm a reborn wonderful parent, and all of that is behind me."

If she denies it all in deposition, which is more likely, your attorney can later introduce all your evidence in front of the judge. Your attorney will show her to have no credibility as to recounting her reckless and irresponsible behavior.

The judge will then have a difficult time believing mom if she, at that point, tries to say it was all in the past.

Just keeping doing what you have to do. And, of course, in the end if the mother truly has seen the error of her ways and sticks to being a good parent, the kids win regardless. Tough pill for you to swallow if there is no accountability for her bad behavior, but this ain't a fair process.

But don't give up yet. Build your case and go to court confidently.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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