Advice from someone who has been in your shoes
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SUCCESS!! Previous poster is happy with the custody arrangements that were just ordered


Your Question:
Hey. Remember me? I wrote you this weekend, and a few weeks ago about my custody case? Just wanted to let you know what happened at court today.

It was more mediation then a court hearing. Our lawyers went into a room and tried to work it out. She agreed to me having primary custody of our son, and her having primary for our daughter. With us switching them EOW, so that they can be together. With her having 5 weeks with my son in the summer, and me having the next 5 weeks with my daughter. She also wanted me to agree to take my son for therapy (she believes he has behavior problems, though he doesn't exhibit them here or at school...just at her house). I agreed because it can't hurt anything.

Then when our lawyers were in the mediation room, she told me that she wanted me to have our daughter too. I told her that she needed to tell her lawyer that. She stated in front of both of our attorneys that she wanted our daughter to live with me so that the kids wouldn't be seperated. She also said (for some odd reason) that the other reason is because she thinks that my daughter would be much better off living with me because my fiancee is so great with her (she's a child therapist). Which is absolutely true, but just surprising that she said so. Given her past hostility.

Then..her lawyer talked her out of it! She told her that we (my lawyer and I) were just trying to intimidate her and that she won't agree to argue that I should have primary custody of our little girl. Her lawyer said "we'll see how this goes, and if it doesn't work out we can always change it." And Bam! I was so close to having my daughter too, and lost it.

But regardless I feel that this is a HUGE victory because I didn't lose my son and I think that its just a matter of time, even a matter of weeks, before my daughter is here permanently as well. But I wanted to say thank you for your support and for your great advice. Your site was a godsend. Thanks man!

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My Answer:
Hi,

Congrats! Way to go!

When the stakes are so huge in child custody, so many of us give in to that little, nagging, normal voice of fear... "What if the outcome is even worse than I have now?"

In the early years of my child custody case, I certainly made decisions from that fear, and they were bad decisions that didn't serve anyone.

The email you mentioned sending me (not posted on the website), right before the events described above, came from that same fear.

BUT!... you're to be commended for looking fear in the eye and standing up to it, to do what you felt was best for your kids. Doing the right thing, not giving up, is such a tremendous part of this whole process.

Please let me know any other events as they unfold, and again... congratulations! I'm posting this to give others inspiration and hope.

Eric





This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.


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