Hey. Remember me? I wrote you this weekend, and a few
weeks ago about my custody case? Just wanted to let you
know what happened at court today.
It was more mediation then a court hearing. Our lawyers
went into a room and tried to work it out. She agreed to
me having primary custody of our son, and her having
primary for our daughter. With us switching them EOW, so
that they can be together. With her having 5 weeks with
my son in the summer, and me having the next 5 weeks with
my daughter. She also wanted me to agree to take my son
for therapy (she believes he has behavior problems, though
he doesn't exhibit them here or at school...just at her
house). I agreed because it can't hurt anything.
Then when our lawyers were in the mediation room, she told
me that she wanted me to have our daughter too. I told her
that she needed to tell her lawyer that. She stated in
front of both of our attorneys that she wanted our
daughter to live with me so that the kids wouldn't be
seperated. She also said (for some odd reason) that the
other reason is because she thinks that my daughter would
be much better off living with me because my fiancee is so
great with her (she's a child therapist). Which is
absolutely true, but just surprising that she said so.
Given her past hostility.
Then..her lawyer talked her out of it! She told her that
we (my lawyer and I) were just trying to intimidate her
and that she won't agree to argue that I should have
primary custody of our little girl. Her lawyer
said "we'll see how this goes, and if it doesn't work out
we can always change it." And Bam! I was so close to
having my daughter too, and lost it.
But regardless I feel that this is a HUGE victory because
I didn't lose my son and I think that its just a matter of
time, even a matter of weeks, before my daughter is here
permanently as well. But I wanted to say thank you for
your support and for your great advice. Your site was a
godsend. Thanks man!
Congrats! Way to go!
When the stakes are so huge in child custody, so many of us give in to that little, nagging, normal voice of fear... "What if the outcome is even worse than I have now?"
In the early years of my child custody case, I certainly made decisions from that fear, and they were bad decisions that didn't serve anyone.
The email you mentioned sending me (not posted on the website), right before the events described above, came from that same fear.
BUT!... you're to be commended for looking fear in the eye and standing up to it, to do what you felt was best for your kids. Doing the right thing, not giving up, is such a tremendous part of this whole process.
Please let me know any other events as they unfold, and again... congratulations! I'm posting this to give others inspiration and hope.
This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.