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Soon-to-be father is getting the cold shoulder from pregnant ex-girlfriend; she may move far away

Your Question:
exgirlfriend and i were living in my house here in az,she is now7 months preg and she moved out and i hear she is going to colorado to have our baby ,i see her at work everyday and she wont takl to me bout anything,doctor appt or what her plans are.she has moved 5 or 6 times in 2 years i have been at my job for 18 years can i file for sole custody?i have all kinds of help here parents are next door they have been married for 54 years,her mom is in colorado she lives in a 5th wheel trailer with her boyfriend and her momdosent work and her boyfriend jobs are sometimes.what can i do ?

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My Answer:

You need to do your best to keep her local. You have no rights until the child is born. If the child is born in another state, that state will have jurisdiction of the child custody matters.

If you're starting your case with hundreds of miles between parents, and if the mother has physical possession of the child at birth (else, it'd be a pretty good magic trick if she didn't); then you're at a tremendous disadvantage in getting custody.

If she's only a few miles from you, it's much easier to get high access to the child; and high access to the child could pave the way for getting sole custody if the mother is below acceptable parenting abilities.

If she's going to move to Colorado for support, think about how you can sweeten the pot to keep her local. Offer to subsidize her rent during the pregnancy. Offer to pay all the medical locally.

Do your best to repair the relationship to be on speaking terms.

Once the baby is born, you can file immediately and seek a restraining order against either party removing the child from the state until the court has an opportunity to examine the custody issues. That will buy you time to make your case.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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