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Two jerks are off to a bad start with their infant
Your Question:
my girlfriend got pregnate by me. i asked her to marry me
but she said no because she thinks i want to marry her
because its the right thing to do, not because i love her.
the day our daughter was born i asked her again to marry
me. she said no because i dont have a job. im a full time
student that just finished my first year of college. she
said if i drop out of school and get a job she might
conceder marrige. i refused. one more year and i will have
my AA degree. we broke up because of this. after the break
up she would let me see my baby every now and then. i
refused to sign the paterinty affadavit because she named
our baby with her last name, not mine. her last name is
her ex-husbands name. she kept his name after thier
divorce. she wont let me see my baby at all unless i start
paying my share of baby expencis. i dont think its right
to pay for a baby that has another mans name. i love my
baby and will gladly pay my fair share if she will change
our daughters last name to mine. she refuses to do this.
can i legally force her to change the babys name? being a
poor college student i cant afford an attorny.
Custody and visitation problems? We can help. ParentingTime.net can help you win custody, change custody, or reduce child support. Recommended by mediators and therapists and used every day by thousands of parents and families worldwide. My Answer:
Hi,
Okay, you either wrote this as a joke, or you really need a wake-up call on how to be a grown man. I hope this response comes as a slap in the face because that's how it's intended-- I don't know why your parents aren't telling you this stuff, so I'm gonna give you some tough love. When you decided to have sex with your girlfriend, you accepted the risks that came with it. Unplanned pregnancy is a possible consequence of sex. When you and your girlfriend had a child, your PRIORITIES should have shifted to the child, but they didn't. A MAN would do what has to be done to care for his child (regardless of whether or not you get married). A MAN doesn't whine about not being able to work due to school. A MAN doesn't make supporting a child conditional on his child's name. You are screwed in the head if you can say (in the same sentence) that you love your baby, but you'll only be a responsible parent if the baby's last name is changed. Can you understand this point? The mother isn't doing so well either, refusing to let you be a part of the child's life unless you cough up some money. Those are separate issues (i.e., child support and parenting time) and it's malicious and inappropriate to make such threats. You also need to let go of the whole ex-husband thing. The baby has the mother's last name, and it has nothing to do with the ex-husband. She kept the last name as her identity, and now the baby has that last name. Here's what I suggest you do:
Okay, so that ends the "tough" part of "tough love". Here's the "love" part of it: if you follow the hard work in the plan I laid out, in three years, you'll have a little kid running around your home, lovingly calling you daddy, and thinking that you're the greatest guy in the world. But you have to earn that joy, through hard work right now in being a grown man whose biggest priority is supporting his child (on all fronts). Eric This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.
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