Advice from someone who has been in your shoes


If you're in a child custody battle, reading these books can help you secure joint custody.

Over the years, I've read dozens of books available on child custody and parenting issues. Many are very helpful. Many are not. These are my strong recommendations.

Win Your Child Custody War: Child Custody Help Source Book
This exceptional book gives you a great introduction to child custody issues, leads into solid strategies for your case, has a graps on the reality of the family law system, and offers many survival tips during this tough time. It costs twice as much as most books, but it covers ten times as much! This book can save you thousands in attorney fees by steering you away from common mistakes.
Child Custody A to Z - Winning with Evidence
Written by a seasoned private investigator, this book quickly helps you adapt the mindset needed to successfully navigate the unforgiving minefield that is family law. One of the biggest challenges to child custody litigants is knowing what evidence is relevant and how to build a case around that evidence. This book gives an excellent review of how information and evidence gathering is among the most important aspects, if not the most important aspect, of your case. If you can only spend twenty bucks on books, buy this one.
Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex
If you suspect that your ex is bad-mouthing you to the kids, you must read this book immediately! The damage can become irreversible, and it can cost you your bond with your kids. Of any book on my list, if you're facing poison from your ex, YOU MUST BUY THIS ONE TODAY. You have some control, if only you know the warning signs and how to best combat your sick ex's attempts to turn the children against you. This book explains tactics that parents use to drive a wedge between the kids and the other parent, and it also lays out an approach that will minimize the effect. Bottom line-- you can be a victim and let it happen, or you can be proactive and shield yourself and your kids from it.
Civil War: A Father's Guide to Winning Child Custody
This book was updated in December 2005, with the latest tactics and strategies that are emerging on the battleground of child custody. The author likens divorce and child custody to the American Civil War, where once-married parts of the country engage in all-out devastation and war (i.e., much like the adversarial divorce). In addition to offering clear guidance on moving forward in your case (including all phases except for a move-away case), the book is full of insights and short eassys - purely for keeping your attitude in the right place (i.e., an important component of prevailing in your case).
Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused
A custody fight doesn't get much worse than what author Dean Tong endured. After allegations that he sexually assaulted his young daughter, Tong spent years clearing his name. He eventually got custody of his children. His experiences, mistakes, and lessons learned-- coupled with study results and research -- make this book indespensible to any parent falsely accused of molestation. Additionally, it may prove beneficial to social worker investigators or law enforcement officers who are truly committed to justice. The book points out warning signs of false accusations and red flags to spot with false accusers. This is not a guide to squirm out of TRUE accusations-- this book cannot help true molestors or abusers.

If you have struggled in any aspect of your parent/child relationship, why not pick up a book? The answers are out there, and there's so much fun to be had in parenting-- just a little bit of reading for new ideas about discipline and communication, and you're back on the fun path!

Breakthrough Parenting : A Revolutionary New Way to Raise Children
A parenting approach doesn't get much better than this. I took the author's 30-hour course, from which even above average parents will walk away with new, excellent insights. Nothing can compare with an interactive class, but the book does a pretty good job at encapsulating what's most important in effective parenting approaches. It's easy to read, offers opportunities to identify one's strengths and weaknesses (as a parent), and most importantly offers practical advice. My suggestion would be to A) get this book if you find yourself in major struggles with your kid, or B) get this book to avoid going down paths that will lead to power struggles and withdrawn, unhappy parent/child relationships.
Positive Discipline for Preschoolers
Imagine a home where happy, positive interactions create the cornerstone for how the family operates within limits and when following rules. That's my home... with no fighting about chores, bedtimes, school, or other responsibilities. Make it fun, and everyone thrives! This book is an invaluable guide to create such a home.
The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year
When that baby pops out, the biggest decision every dad makes is how involved he will be in raising the baby. This early decision will likely have an impact on the trend for the following years. Being a new father is uncomfortable for most men, and even at times alien. The author of this book takes fathers on a month-by-month journey while also answer many "bigger picture" questions about which men may worry-- finances, sex, insecure feelings about parenting, etc. A great first book for a new dad. After I no longer needed my copy, I signed it next to my daughter's name and birthdate, and I passed it to my sister's brother-in-law. He signed it (and listed his daughter) and later passed it to my brother-in-law. He signed it (listed his daughter) and passed it to someone else in the family. Now, this little tradition and "right of passage" has involved six dads... with more to come. So much fatherly love and devotion involves this book.
Positive Discipline for Teenagers: Empowering Your Teens and Yourself Through Kind and Firm Parenting
Wonderful tidbits and approaches. If you have a perfect relationship with your teen, you should either write a book, or you ain't human. Enough said? :)
Other miscellaneous recommendations

Becoming A Stepmother With Humor And Grace: The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife
A funny, honest, and empathetic resource for the novice stepmother, which includes advice on The kids: Adjusting to suspicion, resentment, and biological-parent loyalties; The ex-wife: Living calmly alongside her, whether she's a psycho or the perfect mother. Note: this is a description, not a review. I haven't personally read this book.
Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child
This is the classic guide to how to make the most of a co-parenting relationship to best serve the children. Even if your ex is unreasonable, it's worth reading this book so YOU know the ideal way to behave and cooperate.
If you're a father and you need inspiration to keep up the fight to stay involved in your children's lives, read this. Written by family psychiatrist Kyle Pruett, this book outlines the tremendous gains children get from having an active, involved Dad. It also reviews the measurable challenges associated with children who are fatherless. This book isn't a "mother bashing" book, but rather focuses on the importance of the father (i.e., and implies that other books likewise study the importance of the mother).

This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

© 2005 - 2008 All Rights Reserved.